the hermans - press

A relatively unknown band called the Hermans (not to be confused with English rock band Herman's Hermits) has released a journal that chronicles the lives of its members in Missoula.

For the small price of $17.95, or $21.50 if you're Canadian, you can have access to the private correspondence, journal entries, photos, lyrics and set lists of the up-and-coming band.

The band is made up of David Jones on vocals and guitar, Derk Schmidt on drums, Chris Entz on lead guitar and Bill Pfeiffer on bass.

"The Hermans: Stalking America" is not Emily Brontë, but it's such a great read.

If you can sift through the handwritten notes and typewriter-style diary entries, you will also find that it's a rewarding read.

Pretentious rock critics may call it an authentic glimpse of an American band struggling to find its place in the cold, unforgiving world of rock 'n' roll, but honestly, it's just really fun.

Even Jeff Ament, bassist for Pearl Jam, loved the book.

He wrote the book's forward on a Los Angeles parking ticket.

The book mimics the look of a regular black composition notebook, like the one you wrote bad poems in during your more formative years.

I love that reading the book makes me feel as if I'm reading the band's private journal; it's naughty.

Pictures, flyers and handwritten notes look as if they have been taped to the pages.

The highlights of "The Hermans: Stalking America" are definitely the entries directed to a very abused journal.

"Dear journal, you heathenous bastard."

"Journal - you hooker, First of all, I hate you."

One of my favorite pages in the book is a handwritten letter to God.

Schmidt asks God why his band keeps getting crappy shows and why they constantly play in front of no one.

He also explains how half of all Christian rock lyrics are plagiarized from "the Bible."

Schmidt said, "If indeed you are a bit too busy at the moment, I am sending a facsimile of this letter to Santa Claus as well. I assume he will be prompt in responding, so let's not get shown up by a jolly fat man. Sound good?"

The reader will enjoy the band's journey, from the first idea e-mailed to a friend to marriage to the first big tour. This book chronicles everything worth writing down.

As Schmidt said, "So, children, if we have learned one lesson today, let it be known that if you do anything that is even remotely important to you, keep a journal of it. Some idiot may want to use it to profit from your aspirations."

treagan@dailyemerald.com

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October, 2007 - Remix Magazine

We know you love reading other people's journals — it's okay, we kind of get off on it, too. But you don't have to hide your secret pleasure anymore, thanks to The Hermans. Who the hell are The Hermans, you ask? Well, they are a rock 'n' roll band, one in a sea of approximately 30,000 other rock 'n' roll bands in America, trying to make it big. Fortunately for us, members of the Missoula, Montana-based quartet decided to painstakingly document their ups (playing their first gig for 20 minutes at a local tavern), downs (drummer Derk Schmidt experiences a horrific table-saw accident, which is pretty gross) and everything in between. The Hermans: Stalking America ($17.95; Running Press, 2007) is sometimes touching and tragic, but most of the time it's ridiculously funny. The band members' notes to each other are a personal favorite, in which they call one another endearing names such as “Dr. Rosenpenis,” “Schmegma,” “Asshead,” “Shit Bag” and “Cock Sleeve.”

From the band's inception as a two-piece band (Derk Schmidt and Dave Jones) to the current four-man lineup (with Chris Entz and Bill Pfeiffer), everything personal and musical is documented in scribbled drawings, photos, e-mails and weird notes to each other. For example, you can read from the list of “Derk and Dave's Awesome 2-Piece Band Names,” including Jerkstore, KFCIA, Backfat, Fucktunstein and Body Bag Breakfast; from e-mails to each other (“The list of douche bag musicians we get to play with continues as we played a show on Election Day eve with a band straight out of the how-to-be-a-rock-star manual for asswipes”); from journal entries (“Playing live has quickly surpassed my other most cherished things to do like hamster juggling, giving random dental checks to strangers and lighting G.I. Joes on fire”); and from notes to each other (“Cameron, the guy that did our sound @ Ale House, wants us to play his wedding…. I asked him to get a list of covers they would want but told them we won't ever learn ‘Achey Breaky Heart’ because that song is the epitome of sucking and that guy should be sent to Siberia and pelted with tacks”).

The book even has a foreword scribbled by Pearl Jam's Jeff Ament (written on what appears to be a Los Angeles parking-violation card).

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September 13, 2007 - Missoula Independent

Is America ready for the Hermans?

As they brace for their unlikely big break, the bigger question is, are The Hermans ready for America?

By: Skylar Browning, with excerpts from The Hermans: Stalking America
Posted: 09/13/2007

Photo by Sarah Daisy Lindmark

The new-look Hermans include, clockwise from top left, lead singer Dave Jones, drummer Derk Schmidt, lead guitarist Chris Knudson and bassist Cale Younce.

This wasn’t their idea. The local band that’s been pulling itself up by its bootstraps for three years, working its way from unheralded open mic nights to barely heralded last-minute opening slots with touring bands to, more recently, self-heralded headlining shows, is the first to admit this is all a little surreal. The Hermans, a hometown rock band with a solid local following, one CD and just a handful of out-of-state concerts under their collective belt, are about to become unlikely cover boys for the Missoula music scene—and, even more improbably, members of the literary scene as well.

“We’ve been hearing about this and working on it for three years now,” says guitarist and lead singer Dave Jones. “The fact that it’s actually happening, that it’s here and a reality is still a little weird.”

What’s happening, exactly, is the sort of break an “average unknown rock and roll band from Anytown, U.S.A.” never gets—at least, that’s how the band is positioned on the back cover of The Hermans: Stalking America. The book, written by Jones and drummer Derk Schmidt, is presented as the scrapbook of a no-name group trying to make it. It’s literally a series of handwritten notes and journal entries alongside snapshots and doodles, and covers everything from how they chose their name to why they continue to endure the all-too-frequent “shitty pay and lame crowds” at no-profile gigs. It’s Everyband’s story, told in straightforward, half-drunken, innocently vulgar backstage banter, and it’s being touted by the publisher as “the blueprint for what it takes to make it as a band—whether you make it or not.”

What’s more, it’s slated for a major release. Philadelphia-based publisher Running Press, an imprint of the Perseus Books Group, is so enamored with the project that it’s putting the full force of the company behind the book’s promotion. The band now has a publisher-assigned publicist. Running Press paid to include a demo CD with every copy of the book. Pearl Jam’s Jeff Ament wrote the foreword. The company’s editorial director and the book’s editor, Greg Jones (who is also Dave’s brother), has become the band’s official tour manager. Greg says, perhaps to underline his company’s support regardless of his familial connection: “I would say that, in-house, this book has received more marketing support and dollars than most of the books on our list.”

Specifically, Running Press is supporting an upcoming 12-date concert tour across the West, from Seattle to San Diego to Denver to Missoula; an eastern tour is expected to follow. In addition to club appearances, the band will appear at Barnes & Noble stores in five major cities for combination book signings and in-store acoustic shows. In fact, Barnes & Noble, which will carry the book nationwide, has, according to Greg, also selected Stalking America for one of the chain’s “emerging new author” displays; typically such “end cap” shelf space is purchased by the publisher, but in this case Barnes & Noble hand-picked the book for free. “We’ve always thought it was a unique book, something a little different than what’s already out there,” Greg says, “and what we’re hearing from buyers is that it is, and they like it.” A second print run is now being discussed—even before the book’s official release—bumping it from the initial 13,000 copies to more than 15,000.

An early show at the Old Post Pub.

But this wasn’t The Hermans’ idea. They didn’t necessarily want to become published authors, the subjects of what Running Press dubiously calls “a reality book,” or the recipients of a fully stocked promotional machine. Even when Greg initially approached his brother with the idea, the band balked. “I think [Dave’s] exact wording was, ‘You are not going to turn us into the fucking Monkees,’” says Greg. “I understand his concern, but I told him they should seriously reconsider that position.”

As the project moved forward and the book finally starts to ship across the country—beginning with a special pre-release drop at the Montana Festival of the Book, where the band will play the Wilma Theatre Friday, Sept. 14—the reality of the reality book is starting to set in. The band is being asked about the pressure of raised expectations, their aspirations as would-be rock stars and, in some misguided cases, their future as authors. They’re already getting flack from some critics and national music scribes from Magnet, Harp and Spin who claim to love the book but question whether it’s too honest, too mean, too biting. Basically, the band is all of a sudden thrust into a spotlight that most Missoula musicians never get to see.

“I don’t know what people mean by that pressure,” says Dave. “I don’t know how to respond to that. One reporter asked us if we were ready to be rock stars. What does that mean? If that means, am I ready to get paid to play music at night and hang out with my family during the day and write music with my best friends and give all of this a shot? Well, yeah. Anyone who doesn’t want this chance is fucking nuts. But pressure? We’re still the same local garage band. The only difference is people just may hear us now.”

“Who The Fuck Are The Hermans?”

The back cover copy asks the question, in all-capital letters. It’s a fair query.

Dave Jones and Derk Schmidt are best friends and former roommates who started jamming together in their Missoula apartment more than three years ago. Their first gigs were playing the occasional Tuesday open mic at The Ritz (since closed). Schmidt had been playing music—guitar, piano and drums—since he was in high school. It was Dave’s first band.

The band’s reaction to its first “real” show.

They decided on the name “the hermans” (the band’s preference is all lowercase, but since Running Press isn’t abiding by that style, we’re not either) over a list that included“Chapter Eleventeen,” “Suburban Turban,” “Backfat” and “Shrinkage,” among others. At first, the two played alone until Bill Pfeiffer, another open mic veteran and jazz-based guitarist, approached them about playing bass. Their first show as a three-piece was arranged at the Missoula Ale House (since closed) by a friend of Schmidt’s girlfriend and happened to include both Greg Jones and the brothers’ father in attendance.

“I knew Dave was in a quote-unquote band—he had three guys together and they were jamming or something,” says Greg, who, before moving back to Philadelphia and joining Running Press and once clocked time as the Indy’s original Calendar Boy. “I didn’t think much of it. But then I went out there in early 2004 and saw them play a gig and I thought, Wow, they’re actually pretty good…I remember before the show when Derk and Dave were having an argument over which cover songs to do and I was reading these stupid notes they had been writing back and forth to each other, and I thought it was all pretty funny. But it wasn’t until I got back to Philadelphia that it hit me that we could put them together with this whole reality book concept.”

Schmidt's recovery after a table saw accident

But the book deal didn’t come about right away. The band added a fourth member—lead guitarist Chris Entz—in late 2004 and continued to play a Missoula rock scene in constant flux. As the book chronicles, the band struggled to find regular gigs as Jay’s Upstairs closed (just before they were able to get booked), The Ritz closed, Area 5 opened and closed, the Elk’s Lodge started and then stopped hosting rocks shows, and The Raven Café opened and closed. Through it all, the fledgling band was forced to get creative, resorting to such obscure outlets as a birthday concert at Al & Vic’s.

In November 2005, Greg and Running Press finally offered the band a formal contract. After initially rejecting the proposal, The Hermans negotiated a deal that included enough advance money to record an album at Missoula’s Habbilis Records, the promise that a CD would be included with the book and almost complete creative control.

“The whole idea of a reality book scared the shit out of us,” Schmidt says. “We didn’t want what we were doing compromised or edited or any of that. I have a creative writing degree and Dave’s written for his brother before, so we felt like we could do as good a job as anyone. If anyone was going to edit it, it was going to be us.”

Dave adds: “We thought for sure they were going to tell us to fuck off at that point.”

But Running Press was game, trusting The Hermans to provide all of the material—Greg did make suggestions to ensure the book covered every aspect of band life—and then handed the design over to The Heads of State, a private company with a background in the music business.

The result is a self-described “ratty” account of The Hermans’ last three years. They give props to fellow up-and-coming bands, but also pull no punches when it comes to calling out scatterbrained promoters, flawed venues and two-faced touring bands.

“We don’t really dance around much with this thing,” Schmidt says. “They wanted honest and we gave them honest. I guess we’ve been accused of being a little too harsh in some places. But if we’re being criticized for being honest, well, I’m sorry.”

“I never really wanted to be a rock star”

It hasn’t been all roses for The Hermans since the book deal was signed. Documentary projects have a way of attracting unexpected controversy and adversity, and Stalking America was no different.

In March 2006, Schmidt badly sliced his left hand in a table saw accident. While Def Leppard jokes poured in, the seriousness of the incident wasn’t lost on the band: Schmidt was facing the very real possibility of losing his index finger and pinkie and never being able to play an instrument again, putting the band’s future in jeopardy. A large portion of the book shows how the band battled through the challenge, including auditioning potential replacements such as local DJ and Spinal Tap celebrity Ric Parnell.

Jones’ lyrics for “On a Desert Island.”

“I’m learning to cope with the lack of two fingers,” Schmidt says now, his fingers disfigured but still there. “I can’t play guitar or piano anymore, and I’m just getting used to that. But it doesn’t affect my drumming, and I guess that’s all that matters. It does affect my writing, though. My typing is pretty terrible.”

The other blow to the band is more recent and therefore not captured in the book. As Stalking America was shipped to the printer and the publisher’s expectations heightened, The Hermans future became more clear: They would need to tour to capitalize on the increased exposure and, if things broke right, take their band to the next level. That didn’t completely jibe with some of the band members.

“I think Chris and I were on the same page,” says Pfeiffer, who was recently hired on at the Clark Fork Coalition. “As far as my life plan and what I want to do, getting a job like this is the direction I wanted to go…I never really wanted to be a rock star.”

Entz, who re-enrolled at UM, and Pfeiffer decided to leave the band over the summer, allowing Dave and Schmidt enough time to find replacements before the book release and subsequent tour. All parties are adamant that it was an amicable break.

“The investments are different,” says Pfeiffer, who will still sit in with Entz on some songs during the Wilma book release concert. “We talked about it—all four of us and [new lead guitarist and former International Playboy] Chris Knudson—and it was hard. I mean, we are all good friends. We went through a lot in building the band. But this is Dave and Derk’s dream and I didn’t want to stand in the way of it. I’ve told them, anything I can do …”

Sure enough, when the band held auditions for a new bass player, Pfeiffer helped in the process. When Cale Younce of Apples of Discord arrived at a practice already knowing all the band’s songs, it was Pfeiffer who offered the strongest endorsement.

“That’s the type of guy they need,” he says. “He’s the type of guy who wants to get to the next level, just like those guys.”

“The razor’s edge”

The new-look Hermans played their first show together Thursday, Sept. 6, at the Palace Lounge. The music was typical Hermans: high energy, red-lined rock played rough around the edges; they debuted new songs and mostly nailed the older ones.

Spinal Tap’s Ric Parnell subs for an injured Schmidt and the band’s merch table on their virgin tour.

The setup was also typical Hermans: The show somehow managed to escape mention in every local publication, and the few posters strewn about town listed Oakland’s Replicator at the top, a band named Bald Eagle second (they failed to show), and then, at the bottom, The Hermans.

“It went all right,” Dave says. “Considering it was the first time we played live with the new guys, it was great.”

The question remains whether that’s good enough for The Hermans to reach the elusive and somewhat indefinable “next level” they’re striving for. The potential big break is there, but is the band itself ready to overcome any added pressures and a new lineup to capitalize on the exposure? Does it even matter?

“As far as opportunities go, it’s huge,” says Habbilis Records founder Cameron Kerr, who has worked with most local bands at his studio, including The Hermans. “This certainly isn’t commonplace. Most record labels can’t help this much. But it’s hard to say what it’ll mean for them in the long run. It could mean the world. It could mean nothing.”

Then Kerr adds a thought echoed by many, the one intangible working in The Hermans favor: “You can’t just be a band anymore,” he says. “You have to get out there and work. You have to tour and get better and do all the little things. There’s no such thing as the big break anymore. The thing with Dave and Derk is that even in the studio they showed they were serious about it. They were green at the time, but they asked questions and worked hard and got better. Those two guys are some of the most dedicated guys around.”

Pfeiffer seconds the notion. After seeing The Hermans play for the first time without him, he has a new perspective on his former band, especially as Stalking America is releas ed.

“You can’t explain any better than that book what it’s like going from open mics to playing in a band in a town like this,” Pfeiffer says. “I think a lot of it is universal, something every band feels: You’re trying to be famous without really being famous but still being famous. It’s philosophically similar, I think, to guys who do their hair like they didn’t actually do it. As a band I think you’re always wondering how you walk that razor’s edge…I don’t know if anyone’s ever really ready for something like this, where you actually get tested walking the line, but I think if anyone can do it, it’s Dave Jones. He’s got a little bit of a ‘fuck you’ in him that you need. Derk not as much—he’s a drummer, he’s in the back, he’s just focused on the music. Dave has the attitude. He’s been walking that razor’s edge ever since the band started.”

The band’s negotiation letter to Running Press.

The day after the Palace Lounge show there are no signs of any of this—the book, the tour, the expectations, any of it—at band practice in Schmidt’s living room. The furniture’s been moved so all four can set up in a circle, the amps are set to a relatively neighbor-friendly level and the Seattle Mariners are on the television. Knudson starts comparing the domestic setting to that in Def Leppard’s “High and Dry” video, Younce is asking questions about particular notes in the bridge of “San Francisco,” Dave is checking on his daughter playing in the next room and Schmidt, focused on the musical details, is trying to get things started.

“Let’s replay the same set as last night,” Schmidt says for the second time, with little response from the band. Knudson’s still joking and now Dave can’t find a plug for his amp. After a few more minutes, Schmidt tries one more time: “Hey, let’s cut the shit and just play. Ready?”

The Hermans play during The Festival of the Book Friday, Sept. 14, at 8 PM at the Wilma Theatre. The free show includes a question and answer session about the making of The Hermans: Stalking America. The book is available now at local booksellers for $17.95. The national release is October 1.

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Summer 2007 - Outside Missoula Magazine

the hermans
stalking matilda
i like you, betty records

Okay, so I've seen the hermans live, and they rock. That's why I was a bit apprehensive about this CD. You know the scenario - you go to a show, fall in love with a band, buy the CD, take it home for a listen, and you're left feeling like you came up one die short of a Yahtzee. Thankfully, this Missoula foursome actually rocks offstage too. the hermans break out of the standard "indie" rock mold with solid, back-to-basics rock'n'roll. Crunching guitar riffs and get-down beats inspire flying sidekicks while solid lyrics satisfy the cerebrum. They get serious with songs like "Desert Island," which tackles modern-day issues of politics, the internet, and war. Then they turn around and make you laugh - "Modern Day Pirate," for example, is about an average dude who's "got no ship so I do my sailing on the strip with my eight-track wailing." For a debut CD, Stalking Matilda comes out fighting. Pick up a copy at your local music store, and keep your eyes peeled for the hermans' next show. - WES DUNCAN

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May 17, 2007 - Missoulian Entertainer
The Hermans set to stalk America
By JAMIE KELLY of the Missoulian

The Hermans band members Derk Schmidt, Dave Jones, Chris Entz and Bill Pfeiffer, from left, are gearing up for a concert-and-book tour called “Stalking America,” taking them on a road trip to play nine venues in major cities across the Midwest and East Coast.

LINDA THOMPSON/Missoulian

THE HERMANS tour send-off concert, 9 p.m., The Badlander, featuring The Hermans, Volumen, Black Velvet Elvis, Victory Smokes. Admission is $5 at the door.

If you want to understand a little about the band The Hermans, know first and foremost that their name is a haircut, not unlike The Mullets or The Beehives.

Yet nobody goes into the salon and says, “Gimmee a Herman.” That's because before drummer Derk Schmidt invented the name, the lack-of-hair-do - whose main features are a shaved head with a few stragglers of swooped bang hair left over - didn't have one.

Years ago, Schmidt, who has a degree in creative writing from the University of Montana, was promised a big bunch of hair in the mail by a girlfriend who had her hair done thus. Schmidt had dubbed the hair job a “Herman.”

“I saved my Herman. I'm sending it to you,” she said. (She never did.)

In 2003, when the drum-guitar duo consisting of Schmidt and Dave Jones decided to form a band, they were forced to come up with a name.

“Asswipe - if we are going to play open mic Tuesday @ the Ritz, we had better call ourselves something,” are the exact words scribbled by Schmidt on a piece of torn paper. “Try to think of some band names and we'll go to Flipper's (Casino) later ... ”

Schmidt and Jones did indeed meet at Flipper's - their home bar in a way, because they like drinking there and they used to live near the joint - with a list of names. Eventually they circled “The Hermans.”

Why the hell not? It seemed suitably prosaic for a couple of guys who knew they'd never be rock stars. An unassuming name for a stripped-down garage band looking for gigs in the Garden City.

“It was the best one,” said Jones, a 30-year-old guitarist and songwriter. “The name really says ‘This band is destined for the Elk's Club.' ”

Jones smiled when he said that, but in many ways, that's all The Hermans ever wanted.

Re-formed as a four-piece in 2004 - adding the knowledgeable harmonic theory of jazz guitarist Chris Entz, and the bass of Bill Pfeiffer - the band has achieved the status of Regularly Playing Missoula Rock Band, which any musician in this town will tell you is a feat in itself. Overall now, they've whacked out 100 gigs.

The story might have ended right here, but it's where this one starts. Thanks to a bit of good fortune, a sprinkling of brotherly help and whole piles of outright determination, The Hermans - OK, it's “the hermans,” sans capital letters as they prefer, but we're not granting any euro privileges here - are about to embark on a road trip that is a garage band's dream, a literary voyage that will see them pimping their new book in New York, Chicago, Philadelphia and other major cities on a concert tour financed by a book publisher that believes in their story.

“It's taken a while for me to believe it,” said Pfeiffer.

The Hermans are not a punk band. They're not “indie rock,” a label they not just question, but challenge for others to define, since Schmidt figures “they're playing ‘indie rock' on McDonald's commercials now.” In fact, they tend to loathe every label that people - and the music industry - might want to assign them, except for one: “Rock band.”

“We're a rock band,” said Jones.

“Yep, rock band,” answered lead guitarist Chris Entz.

They love Yes, all of them. And Rush, Canada's heady prog-rock trio. And Ben Folds. And John Coltrane. And ... well, and everything they think just totally rules, which is anything they find original, groundbreaking, creative, fun and above all, uncategorizable.

Rock band is good enough for them, and it's good enough for Running Press of Philadelphia - Jones' hometown - which is publishing the soon-to-be-released “Stalking America: Journal of an Unknown Rock and Roll Band.” As the name not-so-surreptitiously implies, “Stalking America” - a riff on the band's sole album, 2006's “Stalking Matilda” - is a scrapbook of the early years of a band nobody knows, from a town a handful of people may have heard of, playing music that people may or may not like.

“Stalking America” will introduce The Hermans to America in a big way. In a week, backed by the Running Press, the band begins a concert-and-book tour that will have them playing in America's biggest cities, a nine-gig road trip from the East Coast to ... well, back to Helena, where the tour wraps up in early June.

The book deal: 20,000 initial copies in every major bookstore, including Barnes & Noble, where it will be featured up front in the stores of college towns, with a foreword by Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament. The gigs: A national audience in major cities.

That kind of exposure? Priceless.

How this happened begins with Dave Jones. His brother Greg, the editorial editor for Running Press and a former Missoula journalist, one day got a pitch from his little brother.

Something like: “You wanna publish a book about a nobody band from a small Western town?”

The book would be entirely based on the band members' journals, along with scrapbook materials - like the note about meeting at Flipper's, along with some scanned-in cigarette butts - and photos of four guys forming a band and making a go of it in the Missoula music scene.

“Greg came back to visit me, about a year after we'd been playing, and he read some stuff, like some of our lyrics,” said Dave Jones. “He went back to Philly, then he calls and says, ‘They're interested in publishing that little rock journal you're keeping.' ”

Dave's answer was an expletive, followed by: “Your company is not going to re-edit and change it like MTV.” (Jones, who is from Philadelphia, once heckled the cast of “The Real World” on the Philly streets.)

Ahem, turn DOWN a book deal? Yes, Jones said, he'd turn it down flat. As with their music, The Hermans didn't want any power, higher or lower, altering their material. The project got shelved until Running Press got subsumed by Perseus Books Group, which was excited by the deal and promised the band “total creative control,” according to Dave.

“It's your journal. It's got to be real,” was the philosophy of Perseus.

Not only that, but Perseus' Running Press gave The Hermans $1,000 to record a CD that will accompany the book. Running Press was thinking four or five tunes to stick into the book jacket, but The Hermans, being the frugal sort they are, instead recorded an entire album.

The 170-page book, which will be released in October during the band's second tour on the West Coast, is a musicians' scrapbook of notes, old gig photos, random complaints and thoughts, creative prose and general brain drips over the course of The Hermans' development from a mere idea to its modern reality - the band you've heard of here in Missoula, with a goofy name and a sound that's raw but educated.

One chapter, for instance, is a long essay on Missoula's bar culture, serving as a slam against frat-boy bars and an ode to their favorite hole - Flipper's - where the band still often meets to write songs and talk about music things.

“Although this bar is a double-wide,” the essay goes, “it is dark but alluring, sparse but content, flinty but appealing and it also smells like an ashtray convention with complimentary Heineken.”

For The Hermans, the October release of “Stalking America” will be the real indicator of whether the project will work.

“I just want to see what comes around once October hits, after this is all done,” said Chris Entz. “That's when I really want to know what's going on.”

And even then - even if the book sells out - that doesn't guarantee success as a band. After all, it's ultimately about whether people will buy The Hermans' music.

“If they like the book, do they like the music?” said Schmidt. “Because that's the point. If there's no music, there's no book.”

How many bands get this chance, a chance at national exposure, a chance to tour the country and promote their book on someone else's dime?

Answer: We don't know.

But we do know it seems incredibly fortunate that a group of Missoula guys with the moxie to hatchet their way through the Missoula music scene and make a post-mortem-Jay's-Bar name for themselves was given the chance of a lifetime.

Fame, riches, hordes of screaming fans? What awaits The Hermans? They don't know, and right now they don't really seem to care. There are some last-minute rehearsals to get through and a big van to rent, one that will take them and their gear to New York and back in a whirlwind tour of a lifetime.

Not that they haven't thought about what such an opportunity could create. Like, maybe a career in music? Without having to lose touch with their adopted hometown?

“That would be ideal, because I don't really want to be famous,” said bassist Bill Pfeiffer.

Jones laughed, shooting his bandmate a smarmy grin.

“I hear people say ‘I don't want to make a lot of money doing this,' or ‘I don't want to be big and famous,' ” he said. “And they're full of ... .”

Reach Jamie Kelly at 523-5254 or at jkelly@missoulian.com.

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March 1, 2007 - Missoulian Entertainer

Live music may be back at Hammer Jacks: Deal is in the works to change ownership, direction of downtown bar

By DANIEL PERSON for the Missoulian

Those accustomed to the bumping dance tracks at Hammer Jacks on the weekends may be in for a shock come mid-march.

Chris Henry, co-owner of Ear Candy Music, and three others are closing a deal on Hammer Jacks and several surrounding businesses that some are hopeful could bring a new dynamic to downtown's live music scene.

The current owners of the club could not be reached for comment.
*
Henry, who said he hopes to take over by mid-March in time for St. Patrick's Day, emphasized the purchase will not be a resurrection of the Ritz, a live music venue that occupied the space until 2003, when it was bought and transformed into a sports bar.

However, live music will have a presence at the club formally known as the Ritz, Henry said.

Though no plans are set in stone (in fact, they are not even sure what they're going to name the bar) Henry said he hopes to have at least one show a week featuring local bands and sound equipment to aid small acts.

Not everybody, however, is so happy to see Hammer Jacks change direction.

Many of those who go down to Hammer Jacks now to hear top-40 hip-hop will be out of a club, according to Pearce Cleaveland, who deejays as DJ Terminal four nights a week at the bar.

Cleaveland said Hammer Jacks was the only bar to play hip-hop exclusively to dance to, a distinction he said earned him a loyal following.

“We were the closest thing to a nightclub downtown,” he said. “There's going to be a loss of a niche downtown.”

In its heyday, the Ritz was one of the premier music venues in Missoula. That, along with venues like Jay's Upstairs combined for an era of live music in Missoula that many still reminisce about.

Almost four years ago, Jay's Upstairs closed, and the Ritz soon followed. The Blue Heron, which also had plenty of live music during the week, also folded around the same time.

Dave Jones, who was just starting his band The Hermans when the Ritz closed, said it was a blow to the music scene that hasn't healed yet.

“Just to have another venue where they serve liquor ... We've been starved of this for so long,” Jones said.

Henry said the fate of the Ritz shows how hard running a bar off of live music is.

“Full time music is a very speculative business,” he said. “I've certainly lost enough money on shows. Anyone in Missoula that is promoting shows is not in it for the money. ... We want to be in this for the long haul.”

There are a lot of interests in Missoula that are not being satisfied by the downtown scene, Henry said, and he wants to satisfy as many people as possible.

“Missoula is a very creative town and very diverse, and if we can tap into that and be diverse, that would be cool,” he said. “Of course we want to touch the Ritz people. We'd like to extend it to as many people as possible. ... We want to do things people aren't doing.”

Along with the Hammer Jacks space, the purchase also includes the Golden Rose and Palace Billiards.

However the venue turns out, it is clear that many in the music community are excited by the prospects.

Jones said he has already booked two shows for the venue after learning about it in the middle of February.

“It really means a lot to us,” he said. “I just really hope the rock scene, which has been kind of dwindling in a way, bounces back to what it used to be when I first moved here.”

That was back in 2001, when he said he moved to Missoula for the music scene. Later, the Hermans had their first show at the Ritz, a fact that adds to Jones' nostalgia for the old days.

“This means a lot to me, personally,” he said.

Mike Gill of the local band Victory Smokes has promoted shows in Missoula for four years, and sees a lot of potential with having a club owner like Henry who has promoted shows in the past.

“The way music is always run in Missoula, it's very rare that the people that own the business are trying to promote music,” he said.

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January 12, 2007 - Missoula Independent

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September 21, 2006 - Missoulian Entertainer

ZOO REVIEW

Post-table-saw-accident concert

Last spring, we told you the painful and sad tale of Derk Schmidt, drummer for the Hermans, who stuck his hand in a table saw and nearly sawed the thing off.

Even with digits hanging on by their skin, Derk had a great sense of humor about his unfortunate accident: He comparied himself to Emo Phillips, the shop teacher who sliced off his thumb and sprayed torrents of blood all over Weird Al Yankovic in the 1989 cult-classic “UHF.”

Well, Derk and the Hermans are back for a show at their old stomping grounds, the Old Post, their first there since “Attack of the Table Saw” first appeared on this page.

The accident was the first in a spate of horrible musician-related incidences that spring, which included Chris Bacon, keyboard player for the Volumen, breaking his wrist, and ... well, come to think of it, that's about it.

The Hermans play at 9:30 p.m. on Friday at the OP, a free show which promises lots of the band's “acoustic rock, rock rock and some ABBA covers for the kids,” which is a joke of course, we think possibly.

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June 08, 2006 - Missoula Independent

the hermans
stalking matilda
i like you, betty records

stalking matilda

The next time you take the ’88 Cutlass Sierra down to the gravel bar for a bonfire party, take along the hermans’ stalking matilda, an album heavy on power chords and frenetic drum fills that’s best listened to loud, not to mention drunk. It’s just the thing to drain a keg to.

The album’s first song, “desert island,” introduces the band’s compulsively confrontational persona by ripping through a list of items offensive to the singer’s sensibilities, including some paired opposites. That song, mixed with the whimsy of “pope on strike,” which imagines a pre-pontifical pope “thinking ’bout pew-bound women,” proves good times and gut-rock riffs can carry an album.

Forays into more earnest fare, however, like the anti-trustafarian tirade “college rock,” turn the sound sour. Lines like “you’re all the same and I won’t play your game” threaten to bum out listeners whose attitude is going to have a lot to do with how much they enjoy an album that’s raw enough to irritate if picked at persnickitously.

Those inclined to crack the case without attitude, however, can expect to enjoy the aural equivalent of a cold canned beer—a swig of something to slake the thirst of the unpretentious. (Jason Wiener)

the hermans play The Raven Cafe Wednesday, June 14, at 9:30 PM. $5.

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June 08, 2006 - Missoulian Entertainer

Struck by lightning, good and bad — Playing the odds with forks, fortunes, table saws and scooters
By JOE NICKELL of the Missoulian

The Hermans

Last Friday night, my across-the-street neighbor, Ryan, was struck by lightning right before my eyes.

Not that I saw it happen, exactly.

I was walking out my front door, trying to ignore the pelting rain and distant thunder as I loaded some boxes out to my garage, when a blinding flash of light, accompanied by the loudest sound I have ever heard, whacked me in the head.

I knew right away that lightning had struck somewhere very close; but I didn't realize exactly where it had hit, until I heard Ryan hollering excitedly across the street, and saw him circling the base of the towering spruce tree in his yard, gazing up into its branches.

"Dude, I think I just got hit by lightning," he exclaimed as I crossed the street. He looked kind of dazed, and was talking way louder than necessary. Other than that, though, he didn't seem to be hurt.

"I was running out to my car," he explained, "and all of a sudden I just went limp and blacked out. When I woke up I was like, 'What the hell am I doing lying face-down in the grass?' "

Apparently the lightning had struck the spruce tree, blowing bits of bark more than 50 feet across the yard and leaving burn marks and long fissures in the bark that remained on the tree. The seat of a bicycle that was leaning against the tree was partially melted, and the shock blew open a crevice in the soft dirt underneath the tree, in a menacing line leading toward where Ryan had been standing when the lightning struck.

You know how those pesky statisticians are always pointing out that you have a higher likelihood of being struck by lightning than of winning the lottery? Well, I'm thinking it's time for Ryan to head down to the Kum 'n' Go and pick up a ticket. He not only beat the odds of getting struck by lightning; he beat the odds of lightning survivors, as well.

See, within the subset of people who are struck by lightning, there are, I have learned through random Googling while on the clock at work, further subsets.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, about 30 percent of people who are struck by lightning die, and

74 percent of strike survivors suffer permanent disabilities.

Most lightning injuries occur between the hours of noon and 4 p.m., and more people are struck on Sunday than any other day, which sounds to me like the Lord getting even with people who skipped church that morning.

Men are four times more likely than women to get struck, which is probably a reflection of the fact that guys are dumber than girls (please consider this my excuse, if the thing about skipping church and Lordly retribution offended you).

People between the ages of 15-19 are the most likely to get struck; and twice as many lightning-related deaths occur in Florida as in any other state - two facts which make absolutely no sense together, if you know anything about the demographics of Florida.

According to research Ryan himself conducted after last weekend's freak strike, only one out of 10 people who are struck by lightning survives in as-good-or-better shape.

Which begs the question: How can getting struck by lightning make you better? Well, this gets into one of the gray areas of lightning science, apparently. Scientists just don't know.

But if you've seen "Phenomenon," you know that it can happen, at least to famous Scientologists in the movies.

Unfortunately for Ryan, it appears that he has gained no extraordinary abilities since being struck. He didn't manage to learn Portuguese in

20 minutes, nor has he become a chess master. When he and I went fishing on Sunday, he didn't have any better luck than the rest of us - although I suppose you could consider it good luck that he didn't get struck by lightning again, given the thunderstorm that beset us as we hit the water.

Hmmm ... guys out in a boat during a thunderstorm waving graphite rods in the air on a Sunday afternoon. Maybe there's some sense to all the statistics, after all.

Anyway, it strikes me, if you'll excuse the pun, that the likelihood of me seeing my neighbor get nailed by lightning is probably about the same as me getting struck by lightning myself.

And the likelihood of me NOT seeing him get hit by lightning, despite the fact that it happened right in front of my eyes - not to mention the odds that I would see him live to tell about it, or rather that I wouldn't see him ... oh, whatever.

The point is, maybe I need to get myself a lottery ticket, too.

Or maybe it'll help my wife's dream come true.

She, you see, is counting down the hours before the drawing for that scooter that the Trail 103.3 FM and Scooterville are giving away this weekend. She has bugged me for years to buy her one, but I've consistently insisted that I won't get her one, because I've had a motorcycle before, and I know how often I barely escaped death.

So when she heard about the scooter giveaway, she was one of the first people to register, figuring I couldn't say no to free.

Her chance of winning is one-in-103, from what I understand. Meantime, the death rate for motorcyclists, according to the most recent study by the Annals of Emergency Medicine, is 33.4 per 100 million miles traveled.

Which means, I think, that if she beats the odds and wins that thing, and then drives it 10,000 miles, she will end up 0.3 percent dead. Or something like that.

Ah, risk. As Confucius or somebody said, if you go around worrying about stuff all the time, you're 100 percent likely to die eventually anyway.

That's a perspective that's been on the mind of Derk Schmidt a lot lately. Schmidt, who plays drums with local band the Hermans, has long been well aware the dangers of his profession.

I'm not talking about drumming. (Those guys in Spinal Tap didn't really spontaneously explode.)

No, Schmidt is a woodworker - one of the most hazard-afflicted professions in modern American industry. According to a study published a few years ago in the Journal of Occupational & Environmental Medicine, 64 percent of woodworkers report having experienced tool-related injuries, with one out of three woodworkers requiring professional medical attention for a tool-related injury.

A couple months ago, Schmidt became, as they say, just another statistic. While building a jig for some picture frames, he slipped and ran his hand through a table saw.

"The piece of wood I was working on kicked back, and that startled me," he recalls. "I looked at my hand and was like, 'Oh crap, that's my finger dangling off a piece of skin.' "

To make a long and gory story short, Schmidt has had to endure two surgeries to reattach the finger and reassemble the rest of his mangled hand.

In ways, the injury couldn't have come at a worse time for Schmidt. He's getting married next weekend, and his band is set to release its debut CD, "Stalking Matilda," at a party next Wednesday. The day before that gig, Schmidt is scheduled for his third (and, hopefully, final) surgery.

"I'm definitely gonna have to be playing with one hand," says Schmidt.

On that one hand, he'd do well to thank his lucky stars. Doctors think that, within a year or so, he'll probably get most of the functionality back in the hand.

Of course, that doesn't help for Wednesday night's gig. Fortunately, Schmidt is a fine drummer even when thusly hobbled, according to Hermans lead singer and guitarist Dave Jones.

"He can pull it off, which is pretty amazing," says Jones.

He'll also be getting a little extra support, as the Hermans will be joined by a special guest singer at the gig, Colin Hickey of the International Playboys, who will front the band for a cover of a song that Jones said has been "highly influential to us lately."

Could it be "I Want to Hold Your Hand"? Or maybe "Keep Your Hands to Yourself"?

Find out for yourself when the Hermans perform their CD release party at the Raven on Wednesday, June 14, at the Raven Cafe. The band will be joined by Daphne Starburst (a Playboys/Oblio Joes smash-up), the Victory Smokes, and Hail Man Well Met.

Reach Joe Nickell at 523-5358 or at jnickell@missoulian.com.

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May 18, 2006 - Missoula Independent

A leg up
by Skylar Browning

Photo by Sarah Daisy Lindmark

Shorthanded hermans release debut CD

In a birth typical of so many aspiring rock bands, the hermans began life as a couple dudes jamming together in a basement. Since that beginning, however, the local prog-rock outfit has experienced a string of luck—good and bad—that qualifies as anything but typical: releasing of a debut album, inking a national book deal and having their drummer suffer a career-threatening table-saw accident that’s left the quartet’s immediate future in question.

“This band is full of peaks and valleys,” says lead guitarist Chris Entz, “and right now, it’s about as deep a valley as you can imagine. But, again, I think we’re coming out of it.”

The hermans (the lower case being the band’s preference) started in August 2003 when novice guitar player Dave Jones, a native of Philadelphia, and pianist Derk Schmidt, a Michigan native who happens to be a huge Philadelphia Eagles fan, became fast friends playing Neil Young covers in Schmidt’s Missoula basement. The sessions were spirited, but as Schmidt says, “It was a guitar and a piano—I mean, what are you gonna do with that? We sucked as rockers.” So Schmidt picked up the drums and he and Jones recruited Bill Pfeiffer, another Pennsylvania transplant, to play bass. The three started writing together and playing 15-minute open-mic sets at the Ritz to practice, but it wasn’t until a year later, when the band added Entz, formerly of the power trio Hot Action and yet another Keystone State ex-pat, that the hermans were complete.

“Our songs went from being a little improvisational and jam-based and, basically, boring the shit out of everyone—when the bass player’s doing your solos, that’s bad—to the sound it was supposed to be when Chris joined,” says Pheiffer. “Chris is a real lead guitar player; he was the missing piece.”

But even after Entz signed on, the band needed additional seasoning. Schmidt and Pfeiffer were both playing new and unfamiliar instruments and Jones had never been in a band before. In fact, Jones, now the hermans’ lead singer, had never played guitar for anyone outside his bedroom before launching the band. He remembers screaming so hard during one live performance of the band’s “San Francisco” at the Elk’s Lodge that he passed out mid-song. Until just recently, he required help tuning his guitar on stage.

“Chris introduced me to the concept of harmonics when I thought that was just something Victor Wooten did,” says Jones.

The basement sessions, open-mic shows and onstage test-runs finally paid off last year when Jones’ brother Greg, an editor with Philadelphia’s Running Press (now owned by Perseus Books), thought of the hermans during a proposal meeting. The discussion centered on “reality books” about average people struggling to make it in competitive fields, and Greg mentioned his brother’s basement band in the middle of nowhere Montana.

“It was a pretty cool thing to have offered,” says Schmidt, “but we didn’t really get it. I mean, who would care about a year in the life of us? We wrote a letter back to Greg saying we think your whole company is full of shit…We slammed the company, we slammed the idea, we slammed us, and they still jumped on it.”

The modest book deal included enough of an advance to pay for the hermans’ debut CD, Stalking Matilda, which was completed earlier this month. The 13-track effort, full of original songs written by Jones, Entz and Schmidt, was supposed to be followed by a local CD-release party and the band’s first tour this summer and completion of the book’s manuscript by September, but the hermans literally hit a snag.

“Bob Villa here had to go chop his hand off,” Jones says, joking about an otherwise serious situation. “We’re waiting now to see what happens with Tool Time.”

Schmidt’s left hand is still discolored from his recent bout with a table saw—his pinkie gnarled and his index finger wrapped in thick gauze. Working at home on his woodworking business two days before the CD’s release, Schmidt had a thin piece of wood stick in the saw and flip his hand into the blade. His index finger was almost completely severed and, following surgery to reattach nerves and insert a pin to align the digit, his surgeon remains optimistic that amputation will not be necessary.

“I remember asking him, am I going to play guitar again? Play piano again? Play drums again?” remembers Schmidt, who has no health insurance. “He said no to the guitar and piano, but I had a chance with the drums…That’s all I needed to hear. As soon as I can hold a stick with this hand, we’re playing.”

Schmidt is already pressing forward. He played one-handed during the band’s pre-scheduled gig at Brew Fest last week and he’s insistent the band continue scheduling its summer tour. “We’re coming back full force,” he says defiantly, and his bandmates have every reason to believe him.

“It was really scary when it happened,” says Pfeiffer. “We had no idea about the band, but even more we were just worried about Derk. Then, a few weeks later, I got this call from Chris, and I figured we were going to be all right.”

The call? Despite his injury, Schmidt was wrapped up in a basement jam session with Jones; he was calling to invite his bandmates to join in.

The hermans’ debut CD, Stalking Matilda, is available now at Ear Candy Music. The band’s CD-release party is tentatively re-scheduled for June 14 pending doctor approval.

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February 1 , 2006 - Missoula Independent

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